I thought posting a 100question survey would do the whole "Getting to know me" thing and I wouldn't have to worry about one.... apparently I'm horrible at picking a survey to do such a thing lol... so here goes.
Hi *waves* I'm Sharmain :). I'm 24 years old, I'm a mother of soon to be 2.5 children (married with 8yr old step daughter, a 21month old son, and a four day old infant son ). Sometimes I'm asked about why I decided to marry and have kids so soon, and I just shrug and say "It was fate, can't change a thing about that." But recently I've noticed... a bunch of my peers (particularly the ones I grew up around or went to school with) are still single, or just now considering "putting a ring on it". So... yea I'm not gonna lie, I've been living in "what if" land, in the back of my mind as of recent... Hm this is getting off topic. Back to "Getting to know me", shall we? :)
I'm an Army Brat of sorts. Only lived in two places while growing up though. Germany and Hinesville Georgia. My mother's family is from Florida, as is my Father's birth family... but we spent most of our time in Germany because that was where his adoptive family lived. Anyhow, moving to the states was great and Hinesville has come a long way since I was in my pre-teens. Hailing from a family of six, you learn to just appreciate the world around you as is... and expect nothing.
Despite our strong Christian upbringing, we're all human and are prone to falling from our own forms of grace right? With that being said, no matter how much church, church camp, church schooling and college we went through (or were put through) my happy family of six ended in divorce at the age of 14. Infidelity was the culprit and as much as I didn't want to (because I was closer to my father) I, along with my siblings signed over ourselves to live the rest of our legally under aged lives with my mother... because she was the Innocent of the two. (Sigh)
We struggled a while. The last three years of grade school were full of obstacles but I managed to get out of there in a timely manner. at the age of 17, college was next on my list to head off to. Lucky for me, my brother that is a year older than me, had decided to go to the same bible college as me, and had already been there a year prior to my arrival, so it was (at first) and fun and appreciated experience.
Fun, that is, until reality settled in and I had realized that I signed myself up for a huge disappointment. Suddenly 6am Music 101 classes, and "Christian Womanhood" courses bothered me but not as much as the Elephant in the room. Racism. I've never really been one who ever felt the need to play "the race card" because growing up in Germany, that was never an issue. There, I wasn't ever viewed as "Black" or "African American", I was "American". But now, in a college environment full of King James Version, Baptists, in Florida, ... where my brother and I were 2 out of 5 black students (my first year)... plenty of occasions had come up to where I felt judged for all of the wrong reasons.
Not only was I in a close minded environment (race-wise), but also I went from almost always being surrounded by normal everyday people to being surrounded by people from the age of 17-24years that were mostly from missionary families, or daughters/sons of Pastors that were raised with so many boundaries, and oblivious to what the real world was really like. In my mind I was living in "bubble world" and it was very depressing.
Other than the flack I got from getting engaged to a Native American/Mexican guy at the school, I was also starting to get negative attention for other small things. (Wearing pants on my holiday breaks, and straight up flipping out on people). The pressure to live in this unbearable environment one day just exploded and I woke up one morning, packed up my belongings, met up with my fiance' at the time, and his sister, and we left that school, and that town altogether.
(Not to mention, the school was unaccredited until this year... March of this year.... 8years later AFTER leaving it... so it was such a huge wasn't of my time and money there.)
If you're still reading, here's where things get a little interesting lol. I'm trying to squeeze a few years of my crazy life into one post lol... bare with me.
After breaking' ties with the fiance' (Yes I was wrong and cheated on him... technically it was set up to fail anyhow, and my bachlorette party was a shitty place to do it on, but in all reality I was just newly 18 years old and had gotten cold feet fast... you live and learn. And luckily my young and dumb days are long gone.) I opted for a huge change of pace and met up with a few friends in Orlando, made a band, and took a road trip from Florida all the way to Colorado Springs, Colorado! Lol yes... of all places Colorado. Best trip of my life. For once I felt like an 18year old, and not a prisoner to a form a life that I only agreed with to a certain extent! lol
Smoking grass, traveling, and stopping at random bars/coffee houses to play and sing a bunch of covered songs by various artists....we were living the life and it all felt like a dream! I was lead vocalists, and also got to add my 2cents in with a little guitar picking'. Me along with 4 others (Nii-nii (Juanita), Shaun, Cody, and Sammy) pretty much lived off of tips and we didn't go without what we needed the whole trip. (The trip lasted about a month long). After arriving to Colorado, Sammy and Cody (brothers) moved back in with their parents, Shaun got a real job with FedEx, and Nii-nii and I didn't want to go back home, so we both got hired at Victoria's Secret, and became roomies. Within 2 years our friendship turned into a relationship, and we really seemed to be a good fit. (She's so beautiful, inside and out... Looks just like Alyssa Milano, just shorter hehe.)
Time flew by and we agreed that we both wanted more out of life, and that our relationship was more of a phase than anything else we were both going through. Point blank, life would just be easier for the both of us in every aspect of living (marriage, children, drama in general) if we'd split and go back home lol. I love her dearly and I wish her, her husband and two kids the best in life. Sadly, I still have a cd that she made for me... lol... when we were youngins... lol... it's all scratched up but I think in the last 7 years I've listened to it like 3x hahaha! Probably the sweetest thing anyone has ever given to me, so it'll stay in my Cd holder, in my car, until it's lost completely.
ANYWAYS, 19years old, I finally decided to show my face again, back closer to home. My parents were relieved that I hadn't returned to them like some crazy looking crack whore/fiend (or stripper like my sister) and all in all life went back to normal. I ended up working a the Victoria's Secret close to home (transferring from the Colorado springs one to Savannah) and after four years, decided to work at Target instead.
Wow...this is a long post eh? And I've just only grazed the surface of where the story of my life really starts to lay down it's own foundation! Lol... Hm mayhaps it is time to end this post and restart another one to keep the story going. Interesting yet? Ugh... I swear I just feel like no one really knows me but a few select people in my life... so this is sorta my way of telling the rest of the people who know me... but... I'm sure they won't even read this rofl... so... yea...
I'm gonna get off the computer right now, shower, and head to Walmart. Another post will pop up soon and I'll finish up bringing' yous guys up to date so I can start talking about my lovely new family/children and life as it is now :)
One love
Kiss Kiss
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